Something to Learn from my Kids?

Authentic Leadership and Parenthood

Leadership is often associated with titles or positions within an organization, but in reality, it’s much more than that. Leadership is a way of being—in every aspect of your life.

For example, while my role as President of Cressy Leadership has been a significant expression of my leadership, some of my most profound lessons have come from being a parent.

What I’ve Learned

My daughter had some challenging teenage years, and my skills as a leader and a coach were invaluable for both of us. I realized my ability to listen, ask questions, empathize, affirm, and reflect what I was hearing was what she most often needed. Creating this space together helped her learn more about herself, what she wanted, and what she could do in her life to get there. Through these conversations, we both grew—and our relationship strengthened as a result.

Leadership Lessons: Be vulnerable and listen; bring your strengths forward in the service of others.

My older son is quite good at recognizing and naming when I’m on edge, snapping about the dishes or who didn’t feed the dog, and he often suggests I’m not actually mad about those things, is something else frustrating me? Darned if he isn’t always right. The mirror he holds up helps me self-reflect and manage my emotions more effectively. While at times it’s challenging to hear, I’m always grateful for the perspective he provides.

Leadership Lessons: Accept feedback; manage your emotional triggers.

My younger son has taught me so much about how I show up in conflict. My “avoider” and “pleaser” saboteurs (see our previous blog) are the opposite of his strengths of engaging, challenging, and bringing determination to achieve his goals. He has caused me to self-reflect, become more self-aware, and grow my skills in effectively navigating our differences.

He has learned from me as well. He is quick to apologize when he realizes he has pushed too hard, and he has learned to see other’s perspectives more readily. While we are opposites of one another in many ways, I have grown from his strengths, and he has grown from mine.

Leadership Lessons: Learn to navigate differences; gain skills to engage in healthy conflict; teach and learn from others.

The Bottom Line: Leadership isn’t just a role—it’s a way of being. Be an authentic leader with your kids and you might be surprised by what you learn!